Don't you see? I don't care!
by IsabelleHayven
Summary: Galinda is in love and she simply doesn't care about any possible repercussions
1. The Letter

Disclaimer: I own no one & nothing.

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Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle:

I am writing to say that I have found The One.

I am certain you will approve, though My Love is not from Gillikin. The child of the Eminent Thropp Second Descending and a respected Unionist minister. I trust you will be able to overlook the lack of blond curls with such a pedigree.

At last, I am happy here at Shiz. With My Beloved, who loves me in return and takes care of me, as you have always said you wish for me.

I hope that you will invite us for Lurlinemas as I can hardly wait for you to meet her.

Love, hugs, kisses,

Your Gala


	2. Elphaba, I don't care!

Disclaimers: I own no one

Warnings: F/F - Gelphie goodness and implied Pfanee/Milla

* * *

They weren't doing anything, really. They were lying together upon Elphaba's bed, Galinda's back against Elphaba's chest, green arms around her, one hand idly cupping her breast, the other on her stomach while she held a book open for them both to read. They were studying for a history test though Galinda had to admit that Elphaba's hands were more distracting than she was letting on.

That Shenshen simply walked into their room without knocking was not their fault. Elphaba stiffened and attempted to pull away but Galinda stayed as she was, leaving Elphaba little chance to move except to pull her hands away, down – to sit on them to keep them from seeking the warmth of Galinda's body. "What in Oz is so important that you barrel into our room without first knocking, Miss Shenshen?" Galinda asked, her tone cool and uncaring. Shenshen didn't answer except to narrow her eyes then turn on her heel and leave.

Elphaba sighed angrily and pushed Galinda off of her so she could get to her feet. She began to pace, wringing her hands with agitation. "Elphie? What's wrong?" Galinda asked, history text forgotten as she perched nervously on the edge of the bed.

"That wretched cow will tell everyone!" Elphaba said as though it should be extremely obvious.

Galinda's shoulders shuddered and she clapped a hand over her mouth to hide a giggle. "Elphaba…I don't care."

Elphaba glanced at her. "Of course you do. They're your friends…they'll hardly be able to stand this."

Galinda shook her head and got to her feet. She walked to Elphaba and caught her arm to stop her pacing and force the taller girl to meet her eye. "I don't care." She repeated, smiling.

Elphaba glanced at Galinda's hand on her arm, the pale flesh against her own green skin. "I'm social suicide, Galinda!"

Galinda kissed her softly. "I don't care." She said a third time. She'd say it until Elphaba understood. She kissed her again, one hand moving to the back of the green girl's head to pull her closer still.

Elphaba was soothed, at least temporarily. She didn't know about the letter Galinda had sent to her parents or maybe the words, the kiss, would have been more than a brief covering for a festering wound. She didn't know about the letter, and she didn't know that her love had given Galinda more strength than she'd ever had before. Elphaba closed her eyes and let Galinda's hands run over her back before skillfully undoing the buttons of her dress.

-----v-----

Evening was approaching on that same day and Galinda and Elphaba were going to dinner at a quiet café. Elphaba paused as they came in the doors. "Maybe we should go somewhere else…" She mumbled.

Galinda came to a stop at Elphaba's side, her head tilted in confusion. It was the giggling that alerted her to Elphaba's concerns. She sighed, took Elphaba's hand in her own and strode confidently up to twittering trio. "Good evening Miss Shenshen, Miss Milla, Miss Pfanee." She greeted as any good society girl should.

"Good evening Miss Galinda, Miss Elphaba." The trio chorused, smirking.

"Is there some joke that I am unaware of?" Galinda asked coolly and her grip tightened on Elphaba's hand.

Pfanee grinned at Shenshen. "Well, we just didn't realize you two were so friendly as to go to dinner together." She said innocently.

Milla sniggered and Shenshen covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.

Galinda arched an eyebrow delicately. "Oh? I didn't realize your sleepovers and late night rounds of Truth or Dare with Milla were well known." A warning and reminder that Pfanee had her own secrets.

Milla blanched and Shenshen's laughter stopped as she looked between her friends then at Galinda questioningly.

Pfanee cleared her throat. "Would you and Miss Elphaba care to join us?" Shenshen crinkled her nose and Milla let out a squeak of protest.

Galinda smirked. "Oh, don't fret so Miss Milla. I would rather be with Miss Elphaba than a snake like your Pfanee." Then to everyone's shock but her own, Galinda kissed Elphaba upon the mouth. "I love you." She smiled to her beloved and, with a bounce to her step, led the stunned Elphaba away. Behind them, the trio gaped in disbelief.


	3. The Second Letter

**Disclaimer:** I own no one.

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Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle:

I am writing to tell you that Dr. Dillamond, our Life Sciences professor, has been murdered. It has been some time since the event itself so I suppose you've heard already. Perhaps you have not heard that Ama Clutch fell ill after discoverating the body. She succumbed to her disease. Her funeral was yesterday. I have been too distraught to write before. If you are thinking of coming to Shiz, there is no need. I am not there. Elphaba and I are on our way to see if we can't shed light on the truth behind all this scandal. I could not make it through this without her.

Love, hugs, kisses,

Glinda

P.S. Dr. Dillamond had his own way of pronouncing my name, so in solidarity and to support all Animals in this wicked time, I have change my name.


	4. And then she was gone

**Disclaimer:** I own no one, nothing, etc etc etc

**Author's Notes:** Major, harsh Gelphie

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Glinda, as Galinda was known as after the harsh, cruelty of the past few weeks, had spiraled into a dark depression. Dr. Dillamond's murder and Ama Clutch's subsequent illness might have driven her over the edge had Elphaba not been there to catch her…sometimes literally at that. And Elphaba had had to deal with a lot: tears, anger, silence, guilt…but deal with it, Elphaba did. She even went so far as to arrange for Nessarose to come to Shiz early with Nanny so that they wouldn't have to move to a dormitory. As uncaring as Glinda had seemed when Madame Morrible first brought up the idea, she was glad to keep her privacy with Elphaba. Elphaba was more restrained about their relationship around other people.

Nessarose, however, was different. Elphaba seemed go through a profound change upon the arrival of her sister, one Glinda didn't much care for. Especially after heated looks and teasing touches all day, only to have Elphaba hiss a reminder that Nessa was such a light sleeper before she bent over her book once more. It wasn't only nighttime that was affected, during the day Elphaba had little time for anything but classes and Nessa.

Glinda decidedly disliked the pampered, pretty Nessa.

The day of Ama Clutch's was confusing and bewildering, putting it as mildly as one dares. Though Glinda couldn't quite remember it, she would always think on that day with a deep sense of dread.

There were the fumbled, stolen kisses in the pre-dawn light, Elphaba's mouth locked over Glinda's to swallow any sound she might make, rushed caresses to fit in before Nessa or Nanny woke. There was the funeral itself, solemn and small as it was. There was the discussion with Madame Morrible…what _had_ they spoken about again? There were Elphaba's arms around her, their mouths so close…but Nanny and Nessa were there so the promised kiss never came. There was the rowdy, bawdy ruckus at the Peach and Kidney. There was the promise of sex and mystery from the Philosophy Club, the excuse to claim Elphaba as her own in front of Nessa but Elphaba wouldn't go – or let her go. Tired of Elphaba's fretting and worrying, Glinda tried to object but Elphie stole her away. Glinda didn't regret missing the Philosophy Club.

They fled Shiz to make their way to the Emerald City, sleeping in the same bed in tiny noisy rooms above the kitchens – they best they could afford. It didn't matter. The cold never touched Glinda when Elphaba warmed her with passionate kisses and demanding caresses. Exhausted, Glinda would sleep in Elphaba's protective, possessive embrace. In contrast, Elphaba slept in the coaches during the day, her head dropping to Glinda's shoulder. Glinda felt strong and brave. She had to be the one to landmark, to listen, to watch. She would report the day's happenings to Elphaba over dinner, if the moldy, unappetizing fare that Elphaba managed to scrape up could be called dinner.

The Emerald City disturbed Glinda. She had thought that she would like it and thus was bitterly disappointed. If this weren't enough, on top of everything that had happened before leaving Shiz, the Wizard turned out to be terrible—not wonderful at all!

The night after meeting the Wizard, Elphaba was feverish, demanding Glinda's attention. They were both distraught and Glinda tried to assure Elphaba. "I'm not going anywhere, Elphie." She crooned only to be silenced by a dizzingly passionate kiss. Their lovemaking was fierce, bordering on violent. "I love you!" Elphaba growled and Glinda could only cry incoherently out in response.

As lunch came, Glinda held their place on the carriage, holding a coveted forward facing seat for Elphaba, thinking of how the long hours of travel made her love's stomach weak. "For my sister." She'd sniff when someone tried to take the spot. Then Elphaba returning, dropping a package of food in Glinda's lap and, sweet Oz, this was goodbye…Elphaba kissed her twice, neither gesture remotely sisterly. Then she was gone.


	5. The Third Letter

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I own nothing. This is for my amusement...possibly the amusement of others.

* * *

Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle: 

I am writing to inform you of my safe return to Crage Hall. Nothing was made clearer by our journey and so I am opting to forget all about it. Elphaba has gone. I am working hard to make up for the work that I missed while I was away.

There isn't much more to say…except The One doesn't exist. I trust you will find someone appropriate for me to marry after my graduation.

Love, hugs, kisses,

Glinda


	6. Only hurts when she breathes

**Disclaimer:** No one belongs to me.

* * *

Though Glinda had never been fond of Nessa before, she took up Elphaba's mantle. She became over-protective, caring dutifully for Nessa. She went out only to accompany the younger girl. She was as charming and perky and beautiful as she had ever been to the others of their group so they stopped asking her if she was okay before long. She always answered 'I'm fine' with a bright, convincing, sunny smile. It was inside where the changes were felt, where the wounds festered, reopened by every little reminder.

She graduated with the highest marks in her class but even this brought her no joy or satisfaction. The very summer after graduating, she was married to Lord Chuffery, a wealthy baronet who had somehow befriended her father. He took her to live in the one place she had never wanted to see again: The Emerald City.

Chuffrey and Glinda were not particularly compatible in any way, especially sexually. Though they had consummated the marriage on their wedding night, neither drew enjoyment from the activity. They shared a suite, a bed, because it was expected and because of their close sleeping arrangements, they sometimes felt obligated to fulfill other expectations.

Barely a month had passed when Glinda decided that things had to change. "I think it would be best if I had a suite of my own. There is no child expected of this union." His previous wife had died without ever giving him a child and it had been concluded it was a lacking in Chuffrey's system. "I don't see why either of us should feel it necessary to engage in…certain activities when neither of us find them pleasurable." Chuffrey was happy to oblige this and after Glinda had moved from the master suite, she thought to try and perform other 'wifely duties' to make up for what she refused to even offer now. She tried making him breakfast in the mornings though she wasn't a very skilled cook and they simply began to eat together in the mornings. They were able to develop a friendship of sorts, speaking easily with one another. Chuffrey even genuinely seemed to listen to Glinda's opinions and thoughts, though did try and sway them when he didn't agree. But he _listened_…not even Nessarose, still checked upon, still cared for, listened.

-----v-----

One day, Glinda, out with Crope for shopping, gossip and general gladification, ran into Fiyero who was buying an absurd amount of scarves. When she embraced him, her heart stopped. She swore she could smell…_Elphaba_…No! Glinda began to chatter, shrill and endless in tone. She was confused and suddenly painfully aware of how brainwashed she had become in the years since Shiz…since Elphaba had been there to show her how to stand up for herself…since Elphaba had abandoned them all. As casually as she could, she asked after Elphaba and was surprised when Fiyero lied in response, saying he hadn't seen her. Wanting to be as close to her Elphie as she could – even if it meant being with her lover – she nearly begged to see Fiyero again. She knew, despite his words, that they wouldn't ever meet up on purpose.

Having parted ways with Fiyero, Crope draped an arm around Glinda's shoulders as they made their way back to the club. "What was all that about, Glinny?"

"It's just been so long since I've seen anyone from those days. Except you and Nessa of course." Glinda leaned into him, feeling inexplicably tired and old though she was not yet twenty-five.

Crope kissed her short, golden curls. "So you were metamorphified into a babbling idiot?"

"Oh, don't use such long words! I've a headache. And I'm always a babbling idiot." Glinda replied dryly.

Crope didn't reply. Glinda was his best friend, not caring that he preferred the company of men. She was like his sister and he loathed to see her hurting so—especially when she wouldn't tell even him that she _was_ hurting.


	7. The Fourth Letter

**A/N:** See other chapters for disclaimers - I'm not posting any more since there's already six.

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Dear Nessa, 

I am writing to let you know that I have quite a surprise for you. I will be headed for Colwen Grounds early next week. I do hope you've been well.

I have amusing news of Crope that should entertain you, but cruel as I am, you'll have to wait until you see me to learn it.

I've missed you.

Love, hugs, kisses,

Glinda


	8. Disturbing Twists

**A/N:** This chapter's title is warning. Weird twists...I don't mind the writing of this chapter but I don't like the chapter itself.

* * *

Nessarose was sitting in her room when Glinda arrived at Colwen Grounds. She had left instructions for Glinda to be shown immediately there. Glinda was more family than she had left. Her brother and sister both off in their own worlds, her grandfather gone, her father still traveling…Nanny was still around of course but she was a tiresome old biddy. Glinda was a welcome breath of fresh air. She looked up as Glinda was shown in and smiled. Glinda embraced her and kissed her cheek. "Hello dearest. How have you been?"

"Well enough, considering." Nessa answered then went into some detail of things she'd had to attend of late. "And yourself? How is Lord Chuffrey?"

Glinda chuckled. "Chuffrey's well." She assured. "As am I. I've a surprise for you."

"So you mentioned in your letter. It was wicked of you to tease me so!" Nessa complained, but she was grinning.

Glinda took Nessa's slippers from her feet and grinned as the darker girl watched her. "Trust me, Nessie."

Nessa said nothing, silently watching as Glinda's lips began to move. Several minutes later, Glinda replaced the slippers and instantly, Nessa felt different.

"Stand up, Nessarose." Glinda said in a low voice.

Nessa obeyed, rising regally in a serpentine sort of manner. She took a few careful steps then whirled around to face Glinda. "_Oh_!" Glinda only smiled in return so Nessa closed the distance between them, kissing her fiercely.

Glinda was stunned and didn't dare jerk away, not wanting to hurt Nessa's feelings, not wanting her to feel completely lacking in control. When Nessa pulled away, Glinda touched her lips. "Nessa…I'm sorry…I…I'm married and…"

Nessa's pink tongue was running over her lips, thoughtful of the taste lingering there. "Glinda…please?"

Glinda hadn't been able to deny Nessa anything since Elphaba had left. "Nessa…"

"I've never been kissed, Glinda…no one would love someone as deformed as me."

Glinda touched Nessa's cheek and guided her close once more. She wasn't attracted to Nessarose, feeling more sisterly to her than anything but she had sworn to care for Nessa in any and all ways once before. If this was what Nessa wanted, then she would get it. Besides, she knew and understood the pain in Nessa's eyes.

It was a strange experience but Nessa seemed sated afterwards and had been surprisingly adept with her mouth but Glinda could only think of Elphaba…what she was missing. She left Nessa sleeping in her bed and went to sit by the window, unheeding of the tears that had started to run down her face. It was a while later when Nessa woke, came to stand behind her. "It's been a long time since you've cried, Glinda." She said softly. "Especially over _her_." This came out so venomously that Glinda flinched and her tears started anew.

"Oh Nessie…don't speak so harshly. Surely your Unnamed God has little use for grudges." Glinda said softly, trying to dry the tears. The attempts were futile, the tears promptly replaced every time they were brushed away.

Nessa didn't reply – she never did when Glinda spoke such comments. Glinda didn't know…and Glinda was possibly quite right, which made it all the more irritating. "I need something from you."

Glinda closed her eyes. She had given Nessa balance she shouldn't have, she had given Nessa her body…what in Lurline's name could she possibly want now?

"Munchkinland will be an independent of The Emerald City. I need you to help make it happen." Nessa said firmly.

"I am a baronet's wife. How can I help?" Glinda asked, exhausted and hurting and numb all at once.

Nessa gave her a few details and murmured something into her hair.

For some reason, as Glinda watched the land pass as she headed back to Chuffrey and the Emerald City, she thought of Madame Morrible so many years ago. She couldn't remember the specifics of the conversation in the woman's office after Ama Clutch's funeral…just as she felt fuzzy on the details of her conversations with Nessarose. It was important…but why?


	9. The Fifth Letter

My Dearest Elphaba,

I am writing because I have so many things to say to you. But you will never read this. I haven't a clue where to send this – if I even want you to read these words when I am done.

I love you. I always have and I always will. There are days I cannot think or it seems even breathe for I remember thinking I was nothing without you. It's true. I was nothing without you. I am nothing without you. I am a brainwashed twit with fleeting moments of clarity. I do not even know if you are alive or dead. I am not who you remember, Elphie. I am not who I could have been.

I miss you so much! There are days I ask Lurline or the Unnamed God or whomever else might hear me for a moment's grace. I probably wouldn't be this way…I probably wouldn't hurt so bad…

But I had the chance to love, really love. And for that, I suppose I am one of the lucky ones.

I wouldn't be this way…if I had never met you.

Yours

Heart, soul, body,

Glinda


	10. If I never knew you

**A/N:** Gelphie angst follows.

* * *

Glinda hadn't thought she would ever see Elphaba Thropp again. So she had tried to wipe out every memory of her deep knowing brown eyes, her emerald skin, her ebony hair. 

When Elphaba showed up after Nessarose's death, Glinda didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act. She acted as though she had known Elphaba was alive and well. She spoke civilly with Elphaba, of course…more than. Civility with hints and implications of intimacy and love. Glinda thought of the old days and could scarcely recall meeting the Wizard at all…instead she remembered sharing a bed with Elphaba and all the things it made her feel.

When Elphaba asked how Glinda had come to be the first on the scene at Nessa's death, Glinda immediately began to prattle about her hubby's business in Munchkinland, her own good-doings. She could not say she had been going to meet Nessa anyway, could not say the bitter truth. What would she say besides? That she was seeking out Nessa so that the bitch of the East might take her in ways only the skilled imagination might dream of? Oh yes, Elphaba would surely respond well to that…She recalled Elphaba's sentiment for Animals and pressed that advantage.

And then Elphaba surprised her again. "I want those _shoes_!"

Glinda frowned. "Elphie…" She reached out to touch the arm of the one woman she still ached for. "They're just shoes. Let it go! Surely…there are more important things than those…silly _shoes_." Oh, how she hated those shoes.

Elphaba scowled and jerked away from Glinda causing the blonde to flinch. "Those shoes are all I have."

"You have me! I love you still!" Glinda stepped back, the words shocking her as much as they shocked Elphaba. She wanted to apologize, to say something to get that stricken look off Elphaba's face.

Then Elphaba grabbed her so fiercely Glinda was sure she would bruise. Their mouths crashed together, tongues dueling. Several moments later, when both were breathless and trembling, Elphaba shoved Glinda away. "Shut up, you little idiot!" Elphaba hissed. "I left because I loved you too much! Don't make it impossible for me to do it again!"

"Don't! You abandoned me once…to_Nessa_! Don't leave me again…don't let me alone…" Glinda didn't even notice the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes, didn't realize she was begging – on her knees before Elphaba.

Elphaba rose to her feet, her own eyes burning. She said goodbye in a low, harsh voice. "I don't want to see you again," and walked away.

Glinda wished she had never seen Elphaba's face as she sobbed wretchedly where she'd been abandoned by her only love…the second time.


	11. The Sixth Letter

Shell,

I am writing to inform you that your eldest sister is deceased. Services will not be held in any formal setting here as celebrations have begun already and will undoubtedly continue for quite some time. On top of this news, the Wizard has left Oz. It has been deemed that I will take up that mantle until a permanent government can be implemented.

Sincerely,

Lady Glinda Chuffrey

PS: There is no reason for you to visit. I offer my condolences and accept yours in return. I know you have sensitive matters to care to and I would not wish to distract you from them.


	12. Thinking hurts the brain

Liir didn't have to say anything for Glinda to know he thought her grief to be false and cheap. But those words, false and cheap that is, described her whole life. How else could she express herself when that was all she had? No matter how real and powerful her grief was. She took the boy to Cherrystone. He could contact Shell to take the boy into Southstairs. She had written him to tell him of his sisters' deaths and that was more than she cared to contact him. Nessarose's passing meant that Glinda no longer had to endure Shell. At least that was how Glinda took it. Nessa had encouraged Shell to 'get to know' Glinda and by the by, Glinda had come to be with child. She'd had a girl she named Gitel. No one knew about the child. Not even Nessa or Shell. Glinda had gone into hiding and when the girl was born, she left her at the Cloister of Saint Glinda claiming the child had been found upon her doorstep. She had laughed lightly saying the House of Glinda the Good had been mistaken for the Cloister of Glinda the Saint.

Liir had made her think of the daughter she had given up. He made her think of Elphaba and when she had run into Fiyero and he had smelled of her beloved. Her tears and moods had been erratic with the boy but she'd done what she could to help him. She had had a lot to do, with being instated as leader of Oz, with mourning Elphaba in the bitter final way only Death can instigate.

Less than half a year later, the underground rebellion against Glinda the Good had gone too far for Glinda to risk staying in office any longer. Chuffrey had been poisoned and he would have died. Instead he was bound to a wheelchair, drool glistening on his chin. He had been a robust man before and Glinda could only imagine how he hated this. She had done healing spell after healing spell, elixirs, medicines, anything she could think of. She had kept him alive. To what avail? She was certain he wished she had let him die instead.

She had asked them to have Liir be one of the boys to attend her stepping down ceremony. She had wanted to see that he was well for her own eyes. But any and all that knew her were in danger so she pretended not to know him, looked at him without seeming to. He hated her for it. She didn't blame the boy. She hated herself for it too. She wanted to ask if he had found the girl…Nor, was it? She wanted to offer more help to him but the best help she could give him was to pretend she had no idea and no interest in who he was.


End file.
